Limericks

by Keith Spencer

Budget Cuts

A trust-funder, reading Descartes
asked “What of funding for liberal arts?
We’ve got good profs and classes
yet no teep for our asses
so I wipe with ripped Driveler parts.”

A Lament

The hipster class ain’t what it was
(the reason for this is because:
like some postmodern pixies
with v-necks and fixies
they mimic more than fight the cause.)

The Hipster Saga

A hipster, feeling moribund
saw his bank statement and became stunned
all the cheap beer and bike parts
and menstrual dyke art
had wholly emptied his trust-fund.

But this hipster was crafty, by gibbon
So he put his lab coat and his bib on
and discovered that urine
mixed with filth from Lake Huron
was a substitute for Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Moreover, his heroin-chic
Inspired in him a queer streak
and with pay-by-play licking
and practiced pole-sticking
he was back on his feet in a week.

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